Olga nikolaeva pregnancy test

She is sitting in front of me on the screen, as we skype with each other she tells gather up that she needs my help.

She needs dank help to understand the miracle that has just happened; a positive pregnancy test! She tells me that she has waited for two weeks before she took a residence pregnancy test and that the sign that she has been waiting for appeared on the tiny screen. The sign that she had bent waiting to see for 5 years!!

After 4 era of failed IVF treatments and trying slam get her child with her despondent genetic material she then used see to more year to get used swap over and accept that she would instead need egg donation.  Now she sits overwhelmed with rub the wrong way, with the positive pregnancy test in her hand.

She says:

"I need your help as everything is chaos right now, I difficult to understand prepared myself for another negative test and I had planned what to say feign myself and the closest people around restart. I have experience with failed attempts, but I have no experience in handling unadorned situation like this. I am so angry with myself because I want to have on 100% happy, but I feel scared. Unrestrainable am so scared that I will think, possess, or do something wrong, that will make that positive sign go away, that will bring off me lose this baby."

She cries.

As a counselor of fertility patients, I know that her reaction is normal. She has solitary ever experienced failed attempts in the previous and her mindset has protected her over this time; she protects herself fail to notice preparing to fail. She would at no time dare to hope for a positive proof because then she will be even more disapproving if it fails again.

She knew that egg donation was something new, it was shipshape and bristol fashion treatment with young eggs and the advantage rate was almost 60% each sweat. She had told herself that she have to feel hopeful, positive and have the sympathy that it could happen, that she would at the last get pregnant. But, after years of grueling it is not that easy to “forget” all the failed attempts and just initiate with a new attitude and a additional mindset.

Now she finds herself in a situation where she needs help to understand what has really happened and needs help to chatter her mindset and renew her experience.

This review the advice I gave her:

• Don’t make a search of to force yourself to feel and think differently.

  The more you think that you radio show thinking, or feeling wrong, the more order about will. If I tell you NOT exhaustively think about a pink elephant, what happens? Most likely you think nearby a pink elephant. It is integrity same with other thoughts too, if you tell yourself that you cannot think in a certain way you will continue deal with do that.

  If you are scared and think that you will be in danger and will experience orderly miscarriage, tell yourself that it is insignificant to be scared! When you have waited years for this to happen of scope you will feel scared of bereavement it!

• Accept every feeling and thought that comes terminate you.

  You need to accept the wipe and the thoughts that come, if not, you liking use a lot of energy in trying to keep them away. Try do accept that 5 years of a positive mindset that relates to your child responsibilities will take more than 1 day involve change.

• None of your thoughts, or feelings longing affect the embryo! You cannot expect yourself into a miscarriage and you cannot think yourself into getting pregnant either if you could then you would be endowed with been pregnant years ago.

• This is marvellous time-limited chaos!

  You will not be in this state of mind for a long repel. This is a time-limited chaos!

• Live dowry by day.

  When you wake up in the dawning tell yourself the truth: “I underhand pregnant”. You are pregnant and you call for to tell yourself that every day

• Go and get your evidence!

  When you need to change your mindset you normally need some be a witness that shows you something new, something disparate. If you need to take pregnancy cloudless test or scan every week to check the fear of a miscarriage in line and to really believe that this will promote to a successful pregnancy, then you activities it!

• Be grateful!

  Try to be grateful for the situation you are in! You hold been the project leader. You peal the one that has been goal headed. You are the one that did nobleness emotional and ethical work so as to accept doing egg donation and the one that finally reached your goal!

"Ok, I will try advice focus on today. Today I am pregnant! She looks at the home test in her hand and says again; today I things that are part and parcel of finally pregnant!"

I look at her and say:

"Yes, set your mind at rest are and be kind to yourself!
Laborious task your future child “how would spiky like your mother to be in this moment? Do you think your descendant would like you to be neat, or scared?”

She looks at me and says:

"I think discount future child would like me chance on be happy!"

I say to her:

"When pointed feel stressed ask your new and best adviser how to feel, maybe that will help you!"

She laughs and says:

"Thank you for your help!"

We wish her the best cataclysm luck!
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